More or Less #1

I've had this idea rattling around in my head since before the new year. I alluded to it in my first post of this year. I did post about it on Facebook, in a tiny, likely-to-be-overlooked spot...a comment on someone else's wall. So here I am finally setting aside time to tell you my idea and make it a reality.

My resolution this year is to change one bad habit into a good habit each month. More of one thing (the good) for less of the other (the bad).

One reason I think people fail to kick their habits is because they just try to stop that habit without doing anything else. We can't do that successfully. Even if not consciously, we will replace one habit with another. Stopping a habit is like trying to dig a hole in the sand. The more we dig, the more sand slides into the hole. Digging a hole in the sand takes a purposeful effort and planning; usually, buckets of water help. My point is, to break a bad habit, I have to purposefully plan to replace the bad habit with a good habit.

My hope is that by the end of the year, I will have improved my life in 12 ways. Instead of setting myself up for failure by making a huge long list of everything I want to change, I am realistically setting goals and making manageable changes. Plus, most studies show changing a habit takes 21 days. By focusing on one habit per month, I allow myself time to fully adopt the change. I may work on other things one day at a time, but my goal is one permanent change per month.

I'm setting myself up for success. One change. One month at a time. Focused effort.

This monthy I've been trying to eat only when hungry...really hungry. My success rate is about 50/50. Where I failed was that I didn't create a backup plan for all the times I wanted to eat out of habit, but wasn't really hungry. (Hence, part of the reason for this post. Reflection. I want my effort in February to be much more intentional. But I digress...) So, today and tomorrow (and going forward), when I want to eat, but am not hungry I will pray and then have a glass of water.

Starting Wednesday, I want to exercise more and sit less. I think the best thing I can do right now is walk daily. I have to set out my clothes each night, get dressed when I wake up, after getting the kids off to school, I can go for my walk. The preparation eliminates excuses. Getting it done first thing in the day ensures I don't run out of time.

Bring on February!...More or Less #2: Exercise More, Sit Less.

Ready for the New Year...More or Less

I spent most of the month of December getting ready for Christmas, contemplating the past year and looking forward to the new year. Somehow the last couple of years have flown by without any real change from one year to the next. It's mind boggling. And kind of sad.

I love Matthew West's song about going through the motions. "I don't want to go through the motions. I don't want to live one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through motions?"

Yesterday, my husband's cousin died. She was 43 and spent the last 6 months or so fighting a very aggressive cancer. I can't imagine the pain her family feels right now. Selfishly, I'm looking inward and wondering what I would do if I found out today that my life would end two years from now. Sometimes, we philosophically ponder the possibility "What if you knew when you would die? How would you change your life?" Sometimes, it's more specific than that, what if you were going to die in a month, a week, a day...if you knew you only had one more day to live, what would you do?

Andrea and her family spent the last several weeks talking about past memories, pouring out their love for one another, and I imagine, saying their goodbyes. When I had learned about these efforts in her dying days, I wished I had taken more time to get to know her. I immediately texted my brother to convey my love. I spent the next two days crying.

A couple of weeks ago, I thought about this blog and how I would usher in the new year. I felt compelled to be clever and witty. I thought about how if I want to do more of one thing I had to do less of something else. I thought I was being incredibly smart with my title.

Today, my list of "more or less" takes on a whole new meaning. It's more about my family and friends and less about me. It's more about giving and less about receiving. It's more about reaching out to others instead of looking in and fixing myself. It's more about sharing and less about coveting.

When it comes down to it, going through the motions doesn't involve any investment, in myself or others. And at the end of my life, or less dramatically, at the end of this year, who will really care about the investment I make in myself? Will anyone care that I earned my master's degree, lost a certain amount of weight, saved a certain amount of money? I'm not saying these things aren't important. They are. But this year, do I really want to make more of the same "better me" resolutions or focus less on myself, less self-centeredness. This year is about...

More "I love you" and less "do you love me?"
More "How can I help you?" and less "Will you help me?"
More "You amaze me" and less "Aren't you proud of me?"
More "Yes, I'd love to see you" and less "I can't. Sorry."
More "Thank you, Lord" and less "Why God?"